Last night while driving home, I was inspired to turn off the radio. Soon I became enveloped in millions of joyous thoughts and concepts of my life thus far. I am grateful for a living breathing body. I love it. I am grateful for my trials which can also be looked at as opportunities. I'm grateful for my family and their endless love for me even when I'm crazy, grouchy, tired, silly, and stupid. I love their amazing examples to me and their genuine friendships.
I followed the sunset last night and the whole time I was filled with an overwhelming amount of peace. I reminiced about past experiences and I remembered how much I truly love my imagination. I delight in not knowing what the future holds for me. It's great, I could do and become anything at this point in my life, and this unknow can be a little frustrating but still how lucky I am to be able to choose.
And at the end of all these wonderful thoughts I remembered riding the bus for hours. I don't know why this thought came to me but it did. And I even became grateful for Mrs. Moser and her crazy stand up hair who yelled at us everyday, and who would not change the bus route to drop us off any earlier because we were really her favorites but she never admitted it--she retired after we stopped riding. ahh--enough

"Oh...Delightful"

It's about Connor peeing in the sandbox.
It's about losing children.
It's about Christopher's cute little laugh.
It's about Sid the sloth doing a fatal back flip while demonstrating the new Willy Wonka's theme song.

It's about the funny ideas and comments the kids come up with daily.

It's about singing a made up song as the kids jump on the jumping mat--it wasn't a very good punishment, we all enjoyed it too much.

It's about Kacie and her inward lonliness converting to outward hatred.
It's about Chase's non-compliance and yelling throughout class period in search for any kind of attention.
It's about Makyra coming to school every day with her clothes dirty, her hair tangled, she's drenched in smoke, and has almost no ability to communicate verbally with anyone.
It's about the girl, who looks like I did when I was little, causing me to reflect back on my own childhood--Man my life's been pretty good.

Yippee (haha funny word)

DAVID comes home in 24 days

VENITA comes home in less than 7 months

and a random cow picture...

Quotes of the Day

"The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond our wildest dreams."
- Sidney Madwed

"The most exciting breakthrough of the 21st century will occur not because of technology, but because of an expanding concept of what it means to be human."
– John Naisbitt, Megatrends 2000

We Will Be Together Forever One Day

I visited Stacy today at her new apartment. It was one of those visits you don’t really want to do because you knew it would be awkward for both of you. I took her a house-warming gift which consisted of a box of Kettle Corn and a genuine Kami made card. When I walked in she was putting up the final furnishings up in her room. Although the room was almost complete the room radiated a feeling of emptiness. I gave her the welcoming gifts and we began small talking. Soon the conversation inevitably turned to the recent death of her best friend Brittney of 10ish years. As she talked of the friendship they had and the greatness of her friend tears welded up in her eyes. I wanted to cry so bad, but I held it in because I’m an idiot and do that. She talked about the last minutes she spent with Brittney and the unrealisticness of her death. And how the day she found out about her death, she still waited for a phone call from her. I imagined the effect this tragic event would have in my life. I hated it. I hated this feeling of sadness. I wanted to comfort Stacy, but I didn’t know how. So I left. I left and promised we’d hang out all the time to help with the loneliness of the death of her roommate and best friend. While driving my eyes began to water, and I pondered on my feelings. And I heard the song “We can be Together Forever One Day” come on the radio by Michael McLean. Something I needed. Powerful. The Lord knows who I am and what I needed at that time. He was the only one who could provide me comfort at that time, and so it is with Stacy too. I have been so lucky to be with the people I’ve been with thus far in my life.

Shoshone Falls

Visited them last Saturday night at 9:30pm. There's tons of water, incredible sight. Every time I visit I have a strong impulse to jump in. Most people are scared they'll fall, I'm scared I'll leap willingly. Not that I want to die, it just seems too beautiful to be harmful and I want to be part of it. Weird.

I think it's tiiime--for the Summer

My nephew's face is awesome. Both my nephews went down about a zillion times. Yeah. My uncle rebuilt this slide in his back yard. It's pretty sweet.


Check it out!!! My baby sister is drowning in the pool. Too bad it's only 4 feet deep, there must be a shark below.

Glimpses

I have been near tears all day. Every little thing has meant so much to me. I feel like everything that has happened today has been for a reason. I’ve never felt so strongly my Savior’s love in every moment of this day. I feel like I’ve just had a near death experience because I feel like my life focus has changed. I feel like I need to cherish every moment I have and be the best person I can be. I feel as though death is coming quickly and if I don’t utilize every moment I’m going to run out of time. However, I may not die for years and years, but within me is an urgency to live without regrets—to live every moment to the fullest—to love with all my heart, to dance every dance, to give my life to others, to laugh harder, to reach higher, and then do it all over again and again. There is not enough time to hold in anger or resentment. It’s time I remembered who I once was, and do something to be her once again.

At Church Thought

What people say to me when they, come into my life:
I was sent to you for a reason,
So why won't you let me in to help you.
Our time together is short,
And I'll try to make the best of it.
At times the road we're on will seem tough,
You'll probably want to give up.
Some things I say or do might hurt you,
And I know I won't be able to heal all the pain you feel,
but I will be there as much as I can.
And please remember you were sent to me for a reason as well.
I need you just as much as you need me.

My Reply:
Thank you so much for helping me to become a better person.
I wish I could be more than I am,
But I will strive to be my best for you.
I only wish I could give to you as much as you give to me.
I know you deserve somone better than me in your life.
Thank you, though, for being a part of my journey.
You've made it beyond enjoyable.
-To so many, many people

MRI:My Rheumatism Image

To be foretold later today. Scared: a wee bit. I made up the definition in the title. I used a dictionary. Rheumatism: Any of several pathological conditions of the muscles, tendons, joints, bones, or nerves, characterized by discomfort and disability. Maybe I'll find being practically exposed in a tight, enclosed space brings about personal revelations. Look I'm already nervous, everything I write is al ust ramblings. Whew, wish me luck in the tomb of doom.

My Grandma's Closet...

Last semester I had a teacher tell me to take a picture of my wardrobe. He told me that in years to come I will love to look back and reminisce about styles and the sentimental values the clothes had to me. He also suggested we take pictures of our cd's and just things like this that make us who we are. He said we'd forget about these simple things and later on in life we'd love to see who we use. I'm sure my kids would think it was cool too, haha. This teacher has great insights into life so I took his advice.

Hmm...

My old crushes older brother. I couldn't find a picture of him, but this kind of looks like him. I just decided that one day me and this crush will get married. jk. Funny story, good times.

Oh snow

Normally, I don't enjoy waking up to snow. But recently I love it. It makes my day to wake up and see snow and realized the unpredictability of life. You can plan the whole day's activities only to wake up and find the weather has made another plan for your day. Then you can be mad or make the best of the day. Life is the same way. I don't know where my life is heading, but when I do make plans they always seem to get changed. Most of the time it's not until the very momenet I do something that I know I'm going to do it. And usually I end up doing things I never would have chose to do, but I can either be angry at the world or make the best of the experience I've been given. The weather has taught me that despite my own plans for life, God has the ultimate say in my circumstances. Then I get to decide what to make of the unexpected environment encircling about me. I love the crazy weather because I am the weather.

This is who I am

While browsing through thousands of songs on Kate’s computer I came across a song that described what I felt at that moment in a weird sort of way:
“I’m walking down Broadway. Each footstep is a new love letter. I try to make eye contact with each and every stranger that I pass. I’m thinking about the city, it’s living proof that people need to be together. I’m thinking about how I just want to open up and give and give and give. And it’s okay for you to care. Cuz I can feel you in the air. While you wonder, how’s this going to end. I only wanted to begin…”
Lately I’ve been finding I have a hard time finishing things. I begin books and after getting half way through them I stop reading them. I watch movies or television shows, and I fall asleep or I leave before the end. I hate seeing things end—good things and bad especially in relationships with people. I don’t open up to very many people, but when I do I’ve noticed I give them my whole heart. Even if they don’t know it, they truly hold it. I don’t know why I do this, it’s just something I brought with me. It’s who I am. And at our departure my soul is torn beyond belief. I know I’ll see them again, but I can never live those memories over again. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I’ll go to the point of avoiding contact with them until I feel the wound has developed a scab or a protection over it. I love that person forever because touched my life for the good. Even if they I don't show it very well, these people always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you.

Living It Up

Soccer

In the end, I loved knowing I pushed myself beyond my limits in every minute of the every game. Through the tears and the pain, the drive to succeed surged through me. Win or lose, I never felt like a victor. Frustration overwhelmed me as I reevaluated every mistake I made. In a loss, I always took full responsibility because I knew I could have done better. Daily, I find myself in this same strenuous predicament. Will this unrealistic drive within me ever cease.